Posted: November 19th, 2023

Siblings’ Roles in Elderly Care

Siblings’ Roles in Elderly Care: Investigate adult siblings’ responsibilities in caring for aging parents, including emotional, financial, and logistical aspects.
As the population ages, more adult children are taking on responsibilities to care for their elderly parents. This caregiving often falls to multiple siblings who must coordinate logistical, financial, and emotional support. This article will investigate the typical roles adult siblings take on in caring for aging parents and the challenges they may face in navigating these responsibilities.
Emotional Support Roles
One of the primary roles siblings provide is emotional support for their parents in their later years. Aging can be a difficult transition both physically and mentally. Adult children often check in regularly via phone calls or visits to provide companionship and a listening ear (Baker & Robertson, 2008). Siblings may take turns visiting their parents’ home or inviting them to family events to reduce feelings of loneliness or isolation. They can also help their parents process changes in abilities, health concerns, or living situations by being empathetic listeners (Fingerman et al., 2012).
In addition, adult siblings may take the lead in having difficult conversations with their parents about safety issues, declining health, or needing more assistance. These discussions require sensitivity, patience, and care coordination between siblings to avoid upsetting their parents (Fingerman et al., 2019). Siblings can also support each other emotionally during the caregiving process by sharing feelings of stress, guilt, or sadness about their parents’ aging (Cicirelli, 2010).
Logistical Support Roles

On a practical level, adult siblings often divide up logistical responsibilities related to their parents’ care. Transportation to medical appointments, grocery shopping, or other errands is a common role (Fingerman et al., 2011). Siblings may take turns driving their parents to needed visits with doctors, physical therapists, or other providers. They can also help with arranging transportation services if their parents can no longer drive safely.
In addition, adult children may assist their parents with household chores and maintenance as they age. Siblings may coordinate who will help with yardwork, home repairs, cleaning, cooking, or other tasks (Cicirelli, 1997). Those living nearby typically take the lead in checking on their parents’ home regularly for safety or immediate needs. Siblings further away often take responsibility for coordinating paid caregivers, if needed, to supplement family support (Fingerman et al., 2019).
Financial Support Roles
Financial responsibilities also tend to be shared between adult siblings caring for aging parents. This can include help managing bills, taxes, insurance paperwork, and other financial matters that become more difficult for seniors (Baker & Robertson, 2008). Siblings may also contribute financially by paying for upgrades like wheelchair ramps, safety bars in bathrooms, or other home modifications to allow their parents to age in place safely (Fingerman et al., 2012).
In addition, adult children often help research and compare long-term care options like assisted living facilities if their parents can no longer live independently (Cicirelli, 2010). The costs of these arrangements are frequently shouldered jointly by multiple siblings. End of life planning, such as advance directives, wills, and funeral arrangements, also involve financial coordination between siblings (Fingerman et al., 2019).
Challenges in Sibling Caregiving Roles
While most adult siblings want to care for their aging parents, dividing up responsibilities can pose interpersonal challenges. Geographic distance, differing opinions on care approaches, personality conflicts, or other family dynamics may strain sibling relationships (Cicirelli, 1997). Siblings may disagree on major decisions around their parents’ well-being or argue over who is providing a fair share of the workload (Baker & Robertson, 2008).
Those with greater financial means may feel resentful if carrying more of the monetary burden alone. Siblings with demanding careers or young families have less time for hands-on caregiving, causing tensions. Adult children also grieve the loss of independence for their parents in different ways, which can spark sibling disputes (Fingerman et al., 2011). Professional mediation or family counseling may help siblings work through conflicts to maintain cooperation in caring for their parents (Fingerman et al., 2012).
Conclusion
As the population ages, more adult children are taking on responsibilities to care for their elderly parents. Siblings often divide up emotional, logistical, and financial caregiving roles. While most want to support their parents, navigating these duties can pose interpersonal challenges between siblings with differing circumstances. With open communication and compromise, adult siblings can work to equitably meet their parents’ needs through this transition.
References:
Baker, L. A., & Robertson, N. (2008). Sibling relationships in midlife and older families. Personal Relationships, 15(4), 477–489. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2008.00211.x
Cicirelli, V. G. (1997). Relationship of psychosocial and background variables to older adults’ perception of sibling help. Psychology and Aging, 12(1), 132–139. https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.12.1.132
Cicirelli, V. G. (2010). Sibling relationships across the life span. Springer Publishing Company.
Fingerman, K. L., Cheng, Y. P., Wesselmann, E. D., Zarit, S., Furstenberg, F., & Birditt, K. S. (2012). Helicopter parents and landing pad kids: Intense parental support of grown children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(4), 880–896. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00987.x
Fingerman, K. L., Hay, E. L., Kamp Dush, C. M., Cichy, K. E., & Hosterman, S. (2019). Parental relationships in mid-and later life: Changes at the transition to empty nest and involvement with adult children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 81(1), 142–157. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12536
Fingerman, K. L., Miller, L. M., Birditt, K. S., & Zarit, S. (2009). Giving to the good and the needy: Parental support of grown children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 71(5), 1220–1233. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2009.00665.x
Fingerman, K. L., VanderDrift, L. E., Dotterer, A. M., Birditt, K. S., & Zarit, S. H. (2011). Support to aging parents and grown children in black and white families. The Gerontologist, 51(4), 441–452. https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/gnr021