Live or Die Hard Tryin’

My summer was off to a great start, I was becoming an adult and starting my new life. I had just graduated high school and started my new job at Tim Hortons while living in Canada with my aunt and cousins. Although I was not close to my Uncle Auntime, whenever we were together, it was as if time never had passed. When I was younger, he used to take my siblings and me to church, bring us shopping, and occasionally take us to the park. It was always a fun time hanging out with Auntime, mostly because he would reward us with money at the end of our play dates. As we grew older, I would see him less and less, and I always wondered why. On the other hand, my Uncle’s wife, Yva, treated us like her own children, since she was unable to have children because of her fertility problems.

My Uncle and Yva sadly were never successful in their attempts to have children together. Once we reached our pre-teen years, the visits and phone calls started to stop and she too became more distant.

When I used to go and visit them on weekends, Yva and my uncle were always warm and loving towards each other. Whenever my uncle was hungry, she would cater to his needs and always made sure he was okay.She would go the extra mile and beyond for him. After a while, I began to realize a shift in their marriage. It had started with my Uncle and Aunt sleeping in different rooms. Then my Uncle began not coming home for days at a time. My Aunt had started to resent my Uncle and I had noticed her heart becoming bitter. It was as if she didn’t love anymore.

Years later in 2012, the family had learned the truth about my Uncle’s constant days out the house and trips to Haiti. For years, he had kept his mistress and two kids a secret from his family and wife. After hearing the news, Yva had collapsed on the floor breaking everything in her way. She had crawled into the fetal position, yelling for her mother to come back from the grave and save her from her misery. Watching Yva go through all that pain was devastating. She believed she could not live without this man, meanwhile he was vacationing in Haiti, loving another woman and living a double life.

In 2014, Auntime was diagnosed with Prostate cancer. At the time, I was still holding a grudge against him for the pain he had put my Yva through, so I did not bother checking up on him and his well being. He was dead to me. Although Yva wasn’t completely healed, Yva had decided to forgive him and gave up her job to be his caregiver 24/7. While taking care of him, she also became a step-mother to both of his children. Even though Auntime had put Yva through hell, she had made a vow to stick by his side through sickness and through health.

Later on this past summer I had noticed my sister, who was also Auntime’s goddaughter, and mother began to visit numerous times every week. My mother had later on explained to me that Auntime was in his fourth stage of cancer. On June 20th, 2015 I had finally went to go see Auntime with my mother. As I walk in the crowded apartment, I had noticed a body lying on a pop-up bed. The body had looked like the malnurtured kids from the commercials on TV. His ribs were emerging from the sides of his body. He could barely communicate when spoken to. Like a baby, he had to make sounds to tell people what he wants. As I finally moved my eyes to his face, all the flashbacks began to pop-up in my head again. Tears started swelling up in my eyes and I began swimming in my tears. I was so concerned with how Auntime had ruined my life that I did not realize that his days were limited. Instead of spending his final days holding a grudge, I could have sat right near him reminding him of all the times we spent together. Three days later, Auntime had finally taken his last breath.

Watching Auntime’s life spiral out of control and watching him die had made decide to live my life with no regrets and to it’s full potential. It also persuaded me to have a career in neonatal nursing. Watching death had made me appreciate bringing life into the world and brand new beginnings.